Gay prostitutes the world over have been thrilled by the Pope's decision to allow them to use condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS.

''It's a dream come true,'' said Trent, 21, a strapping blond guardsman and part-time rent boy in London's St James's Park. ''It's the last thing I expected from the Vatican.''

Jai, 24, who works for a male escort agency in Sydney's Kings Cross, agreed. ''As a devout practising Catholic, I've worried both about AIDS and the sin of wearing a rubber. This OK from the Pope means I can see my Catholic clients without fear of either disease or damnation.''

That is if Benedict actually said what he is said to have said. In an interview with a German journalist, in their native language, he apparently hinted it might be a bit less of a sin if male hookers wore a condom on the job.

When this was translated into English it was hailed as a giant leap forward from the church's implacable opposition to contraception of any sort. When it came out in Italian, using the female noun, prostituta, it was seen as including women as well.

Chaos now reigns, as it usually does after papal pronouncements on any subject. The language is invariably impenetrable, no doubt suitable for lofty pontificating on how many angels might fit on the head of a pin, but little else.

Cardinals and bishops around the world have been scrambling to stuff the genie back into the bottle. The Bishop of Parramatta, Anthony ''Boy George'' Fisher, rushed to instruct his flock that nothing had changed.

So Catholics can still go to hell for a franger or the pill.

Mike Carlton