’Governments, police services & prison authorities around the world
are reportedly "overjoyed" by the launch of a new prescription drug
that cures people who are suffering doubts about the veracity of the so-called
Jewish Holocaust.  

Shares in Israel-based Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals Incorporated
rocketed to 89 US dollars following the long-awaited announcement of a miracle
cure for Holocaust Denial Syndrome (HDS).  

Soon to be marketed & sold under the name Holozac, the drug works
by rapidly closing down the brain's centre of intellectual inquiry. It also
blocks the re-uptake of politically incorrect neurotransmitters involved
in critical thought processes, making it more difficult to distinguish between
truth and lies.  

"We're simply overwhelmed by the response of the governments we
control in the Zionist West," says Ari Scheister, Marketing Director for
Goy & Goy's regional office in Germany. "Particularly so in the
European Union where prisons are bursting at the seams with professors,
journalists and academics who are all suffering the symptoms of advanced and
potentially fatal HDS and other diseases associated with human awareness and a
passion for the truth."  

Europe's most prominent sufferers, Ernst Zundel,  Germar Rudolf
and David Irving are said to be in a stable condition  following
incarceration in high-security prison facilities for People Who  Read
Books (PWRBs).  

"Next to People Who Have the Audacity to Actually Write Books
(PWHTATAWBs), the PWRBs, are our most urgent concern," says Guenther
Gutmensch, Parliamentary Chairman of the Federal Commission for Confiscating
and Burning Books That Make People Think Something Ain't Right
(FCFCABBTMPTSAR). "They ask lots of questions and they have an unnatural
and very unhealthy obsession with finding out the truth. They simply do
not believe a word we say."  

Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals were given the green light by EU health
regulators yesterday following extensive double-blind tests involving twenty
HDS sufferers. Over a seven-day period, the patients were allowed unrestricted access
to a library of detailed and scientifically authenticated studies of the
so-called Jewish Holocaust. Ten of the patients were given a placebo, whereas
each of the other ten was administered 500 mg of Holozac twelve times a day.  

"The results were astonishing," says Dr Ron Haggler, who
supervised the trial. "On the first day, both groups quickly found all
three volumes of the 1948 'Report of the International Committee of the Red
Cross', and 'The Hoax of the Twentieth Century' by Arthur Butz.  On the
second day, patients were still reading and discussing Germar Rudolf's
'Lectures on the Holocaust' and Juergen Graf's seminal 'The Giant with Feet of Clay'."
 

"However," continues Haggler, "by Wednesday morning the
group treated with Holozac had actually pushed aside Carlo Mattogno's
'Auschwitz: Rumor and Reality' and Norman Finkelstein's 'The Holocaust
Industry' in favour of the semi-mythical 'Schindler's List'. At the end of the
experiment they were actually fighting over the only available copy of
Germany's favourite self-loathing, government-controlled newspaper 'Bild
Zeitung'." 

There are however side effects associated with Holozac. It's active
ingredient Zionine has been shown to cause a pathological hatred of
Palestinians and Muslims in general.  

"It's not for cartoonists or editor's of Mossad-controlled newspapers,"
Haggler explained. "We are also cautioning doctors not to prescribe to
patients who have a habit of harming either themselves or complete strangers
and who then blame that harm on imaginary Arab terrorists."  

Haggler's colleagues also stress that giving the drug to Christians who
have been artfully persuaded to believe a false, unscriptural, satanic doctrine
known as the Zionist Dispensation would be sheer overkill. 

"Cyrus Scofield and the Rapture crowd did to American Christians
what this drug can do to the Holy Remnant," says an Israeli team
coordinator, smiling. "Pastors and Ministers in the United States, who
have deliberately confused the pristine Kingdom of God with a stretch of
worthless real estate on a spinning ball of dirt, have all but made medical
treatment with Holozac unnecessary. A Scofield Reference Bible believer on just
one milligram of Zionine would make the Irgun death squad look like the Cub
Scouts on a paper chase. Buying stock in Caterpillar Bulldozers would be a
smart move. Here’s my broker’s phone number."  

Despite such reservations about possible side effects, the European
Union has already invested 15 billion euros in what it describes as the most
ambitious mental health campaign in modern times.   

"We're talking about targeted pre-emptive measures," says an
EU spokesman for Mental Hygiene and Correct Thinking. "Holocaust Denial Syndrome
begins at home and in the classroom. Does your child ask questions? Does he or
she read books? Does he or she get bored with television news programmes and
surf the Internet for uncensored history sites and the truth about September
11? If the answer is 'yes' to any one of these painfully necessary questions,
then your child should be treated with Holozac immediately before his or her
brain has a chance to fully develop its dangerous critical faculties."  

Much to the delight of Goy & Goy shareholders, that recommendation
was heartily echoed by bought-and-paid-for psychiatric professionals throughout
the European Union yesterday.  

"We often find ourselves being called out at short notice to help
the police deal with highly intelligent people who question the official
version of history and who therefore require urgent medication," says
first-responder Heidi Stomp. "At the end of the day, all we want is a
society of normal, well-adjusted people who watch television, trust the
government, don't ask questions, pay their taxes and love Israel."  

"Governments are limited in terms of what they can do to keep
young men dying in wars for Israel premised upon our cleverly scripted history
and other scams," reiterates Ari Scheister. "They can burn books and
lie and deceive over and over again, but there's always a hard core of
dangerously self-educated and wilfully informed people who persist in asking
troublesome questions about our precious and wonderfully unique Holocaust,
despite the threat of imprisonment or worse. The only way to deal with this
terrible disease and stop the truth from infecting other people is by treating
sufferers with our new miracle Holozac."   

"To paraphrase one of our cleverest non-attributable disinformation
slogans of all time," concludes Scheister, "it may not be the only
solution, but it’s sure as hell the final solution.  

Pass the Sushi, will ya?" 

Michael James.

February 20, 2006

Michael James is a British freelance
journalist and translator, resident in Germany for almost 14 years. All of his
online journalism is public domain and may therefore be republished freely in
any media without permission.