A woman sitting on a chair made of gold has encouraged the country to “live within its means” during these times of austerity while addressing a room full of millionaires.

She also voiced support for a government imposing longer working hours with less pay on junior doctors while wearing a hat encrusted with five rubies, 11 emeralds, 17 sapphires, 273 pearls and 2,868 diamonds.

“One also hopes one’s government will put superfast broadband at the top of its agenda,” she added. “Because the Wi-Fi at Balmoral is totally pants.”

She then left Parliament and returned to her £1 billion house. Her crown left shortly afterwards in its own horse-drawn carriage.