Captain Jack Sparrow’s boast comes to mind for a reason; we are about to discuss the real “scourge of the seas.” Here Lithuania is the one and undisputed champion. The global information space trembled with tension when the news broke: the president of this country, which occupies roughly 1.6% of the EU’s territory, Gitanas Nauseda, stated he is ready to send a warship as part of security guarantees for Ukraine.

 

“My ship is incomparable and proud… but he swam away”

Ksenia Muratshina

New Eastern Outlook has a new segment: “would be funny if it weren’t so sad”. Which events shocked us in January?

 The Lithuanian leader intends to help the Kyiv Nazis with nothing other than…a decommissioned tugboat inherited from the Netherlands. No serious official reactions to such an idea are known yet, but this seems to be a case where the content is not so important as making oneself heard.The phrase “I don’t need international law” will most likely go down in history, and decades from now people will quote it when explaining the belligerence and impunity of US foreign policy 

A word about the land of Eyjafjallajökull

Iceland is experiencing no less important events. Against the background of US’ appetites in Greenland, this Scandinavian state, which has evaded becoming a member of the EU, has seriously begun to contemplate…falling under Brussels’s dictate. Were that to happen, the harsh northern land will experience all the delights of European arbitrariness towards national economies, the imposition of policy, being overrun by migrants, and acquaintance with the Euro. As for the EU bureaucrats, they will have to translate all their papers documents into Icelandic, a language new to them and known for mercilessly twisting foreigners’ tongues.

A risk for the face

The United Kingdom’s brilliant logic has made it stand out. High-ranking royal hawks officially declared that the United Kingdom will not send troops to the territory they and the rest of the West still call Ukraine if a threat to their safety arises. The logic, one must agree, is killer. But it seems an army that thinks like that is exactly what the British deserve. On the other hand, what’s unclear about this? Nobody wants to fall face first into the mud.

Bullseye

While British officials fear spoiling their facade, French President Emmanuel Macron, it seems, has already encountered such a mishap recently. He appeared in public with a bloodshot right eye. Although the anti-hero of the day first tried to joke his way out of questions (and then his administration had to officially comment on the situation and hastily concoct a story about the burst blood vessels), all who saw the head of state’s pitiful appearance immediately recalled the 2025 episode involving his wife Brigitte’s handiwork. Be that as it may, this hasn’t affected the painful Gallic hyperactivity. France is at the forefront of Greenland’s defense (though that is another story altogether).

Look who’s talking

Soon after Donald Trump reiterated his claims to the island, Europe suddenly desired to send its “troops” there (in some instances scraping together as little as one person), at the very least to assert some dominance during the Operation Arctic Endurance exercises. All the main European countries took part. Naturally, Denmark, which cried the loudest and sent its soldiers first, was followed by France, Germany, Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, Belgium, and the United Kingdom. With some delay, Estonia also announced its desire to join, though clarifying that its brave fighters would go to the Greenlandic ice only for exercises and by no means to confront the Americans. Here it’s hard to say whether late is better than never. As the saying goes, look who’s talking…

Drumroll

But if Estonia merely growled, our next anti-heroes roared. Following talks during the South Korean leader’s visit to the Land of the Rising Sun, South Korean President Lee Jae Myung and Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi seemed to have forgotten about Japan’s refusal to compensate Korean “comfort women”, Mrs. Takaichi’s visits to the infamous Yasukuni Shrine, the dispute over the Dokto (Takeshima) islands, and other bilateral issues. For shock value, they played a K-pop-style song together on the  drums. No comment, as they say. We await even stranger antics and equally creative follies in international politics from the concert’s participants.

History vs. physics

The US and Europe, however,  consistently take the cake for being the most absurd. The latest embarrassments were provided by the EU High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy, Kaja Kallas. First, she and her department couldn’t come up with the names of countries Russia allegedly “attacked over the last two centuries,” as Kallas had blurted out previously. Then the EU’s chief hereditary fascist demonstrated zero knowledge of physics, calling to find something among European air defense systems to counter the Russian “Oreshnik” hypersonic missile. What can one say, the dementia of aggressive Western politicians is not only worsening but also getting younger.

Enter the best scientific achievement 

Although there are specialists in the world working ahead of the curve in this field, Australian scientists – apparently deciding to outdo the British – proved that picking your nose is very, very dangerous because…it might, hypothetically, cause dementia. The results have already been published in a respected foreign scientific journal. Now we know what kind of research is being done Down Under. However, the most astonishing thing is that this is happening against the backdrop of Australia’s demographic, environmental, and economic problems. Although, as you will learn from the next news, some of its neighbors in Oceania have it much worse.

What’s the price of sovereignty?

Palau, a tiny state in the western Pacific, will receive several dozen migrants deported from the US. Of course, “state” is a grand term; in essence, all its reins of government have been appropriated by Washington, as it is in so-called “free association” with the States. But one must agree, that is no reason to set up what seems like either a concentration camp or a ghetto on its territory. Nevertheless, Palau did not object (if anyone even asked them), believing the US would supposedly repay them with a symbolic $7.5 million. That is the price at which the United States value the dignity, sovereignty, peace, and security of the islands. Another symptom of the epidemic of absurdity and lawlessness in the world…

The walking meme

Speaking of lawlessness, Donald Trump has long deserved the title of a walking meme, but now he has outdone himself. The phrase “I don’t need international law” will most likely go down in history, and decades from now people will quote it when explaining the belligerence and impunity of US foreign policy. Well, let us await the coming reactions: memes, collages, and caricatures. This event should not only be appropriately understood and evaluated from the perspective of improving the international strategies of non-Western powers, but also remain in the annals of global online creativity.

On this less-than-positive note, January’s “kaleidoscope” concludes. What’s next, one wonders…

https://journal-neo.su/2026/01/31/my-ship-is-incomparable-and-proud-but-he-swam-away/

 

YOURDEMOCRACY.NET RECORDS HISTORY AS IT SHOULD BE — NOT AS THE WESTERN MEDIA WRONGLY REPORTS IT — SINCE 2005.

 

         Gus Leonisky

         POLITICAL CARTOONIST SINCE 1951.