Prime Minister John Howard has outlined sweeping changes to the laws governing Australian workplaces. I DON'T HAVE TO BELONG TO THE STREET SWEEPERS' UNION ANYMORE Under the changes, businesses with up to 100 employees would be exempt from unfair dismissal laws. PEOPLE WHO ARE SACKED NOT TO BE COUNTED AS UNEMPLOYED There will be new arrangements for setting minimum wages, with the establishment of a new Fair Pay Commission. THE WORD MINIMUM HAS BEEN REDEFINED TO MEAN BELOW SEA LEVEL That role would be taken away from the Industrial Relations Commission. WHO NEEDS LAWYERS WHEN YOU CAN USE A GOOD OLD BOOT. Awards would be simplified, with long service leave, notice of termination, superannuation and jury duty no longer covered. EVERYBODY WHO'S NOT AN EXECUTIVE IS RECLASSIFIED AS A WORKING POOR Mr Howard says the Government will move towards a single national industrial system, with or without the support of the states. BUGGER THE STATES, BUGGER THE FEDERATION, HAIL KING JOHNNEE ! "Australia needs a workplace system geared to the future, not to the past," he said. WE ARE MOVING FROM 1956 TO 1922 (POSSIBLY 1898) BC) Mr Howard says the reforms are historic. THEY ALREADY EXIST IN HISTORY BOOKS UNDER SLAVERY "These reforms Mr Speaker, are based on principles that balance freedom and fairness and that have underpinned the Liberal and National parties' historic contribution to changing the culture of workplace relations in this country," he said. WHIP-CRACKING UNDERPINNING THE GLORIOUS CULTURE OF PHARAOHS.