Yemeni authorities have arrested two women on suspicion of sending explosive devices to US synagogues. Yemeni security forces arrested the women in their homes, where it was claimed that they had been hiding. The women had been identified through the contact phone numbers they had given to UPS when arranging to forward the parcels. Authorities are convinced that the parcels were bombs sent on behalf of the Saudi Arabian branch of al-Qaeda, even though the contents were still subject to analysis.

Responding to the Yemeni threat, Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, said that she was considering bringing the Parliamentary X-Mas 'shutdown' forward, as one option to protect our nation's leaders from the threat of terrorism. Ms Gillard said that the south coast branch of al-Qaeda was suspected of being responsible for strong gale force winds & storms that pounded the south coast of NSW last night & urged everyone to be on alert for anything suspicious & to bark loudly if they saw anything.

Federal Police received a number of calls from citizens concerned about an old duffer impersonating the staunch defender of democracy, the little-known Liberal MP, Mal Washer. This followed claims that many federal Parliamentarians are suffering from severe stress as a result of having to work extra-long hours on behalf of the citizenry & that some had even taken to consuming alcohol & other exotic substances to try & deal with the challenge. Tony Abbott issued a statement from the bike shop, stating that it was this kind of unfounded slur that played into the hands of the terrorists & he called for all loyal citizens to be vigilant against unfair criticism of our hard-working leaders.

John Howard issued a statement overnight, claiming that this latest example of attempted terrorism from the middle east was proof positive about how evil Saddam was & that the US strategy of blowing-up the world to protect it from the evil forces of Islamic terrorism had been vindicated & he hoped that loyal citizens would buy truckloads more of his book, lazarus rising, as he needs the cash to fund his planned comeback.

Victorian Police are said to be pursuing extraordinary security precautions in the lead-up to Tuesday's Melbourne Cup, following a tip-off that some of the horses entered in the race allegedly have middle-eastern connections. This followed earlier allegations that Pakistani cricket cheating conspiracy had been facilitated by the Delhi chapter of al-Qaeda & that this was the reason that cricket tragic, rattus 'no ball' Howard, failed to land the ICC gig.

Meanwhile, the Treasurer, Wayne Swan, said he couldn't be certain if recent threats by the Reserve Bank to lift interest rates were in response to concerns about a looming terrorist attack by al-Qaeda somewhere north of the south pole or because it was concerned about the level of public boredom with the issue.

And in a national broadcast, President Barack Obama has assured Americans that al-Qaeda was behind the leaking of secret US military reports through Wikileaks & that this was part of a plot to weaken America's resolve to save the world from the evils of terrorism ...... Obama said that the world knows what kind of country America is & that it doesn't 'do torture' .....