WHAT'S the main thing we want from the President of the United States? Not what America wants. Never mind that. Those buggers get a vote. I mean the rest of us, the 99.6 per cent of the world who don't get to vote for the man who has the power really to screw things up for everyone.

Here's my vote: credulity.

That's what the President of America needs, above all. Never mind decisiveness. Never mind moral principles, political skill, the low cunning of a weasel and the self-belief of a ratsnake. What he needs is credulity. He needs to believe stuff.

In particular, he needs to believe nonsense. While everyone else is sniggering behind their hands, the President needs to be nodding seriously.

He has to nod seriously while the Israelis tell him they're going to bomb Iran because they're making nukes and they're going to push all the Israelis into the sea and dance as they watch them drown.