I did like it [soldiering] in the old days, back when the prerequisite of a British campaign was that the enemy should under no circumstances carry guns.

Even spears made us think twice....  

The kind of people we liked to fight were two feet tall and armed with dried grass.... 

No, when I joined up, I never imagined anything as awful as this war. I had 15 years of military experience, perfecting the art of ordering a pink gin and [mastering the intricacies of propositioning local women in their native tongue], and then, suddenly, a half million Germans hove into view....” 

Captain Blackadder's Lament: Imperialism Isn't Fun When The Enemy Can Shoot Back