Saturday 3rd of June 2023

Richard Tonkin's blog

On Living Forever

Gather round the telly
Charlie will be King
His Majesty commands you
to do one extra thing
At the chosen time
you're supposed to stand
and loudly toast your loyalty
to the Monarch of our Land
"God save the King
May the King live forever"
Charlie might regret the day
he thought himself so clever
He might become our Ruler
He won't be a star
when all that's left are entrails
in a peanut butter jar

Round We Go Again

Sometime or other, there once was a King
who wanted to fight in a war
Plundering enemies' gold was the thing
with no blood spilled on his shore
Stealing is quite easy
when carried out with pride
No one would be monarch
of a Kingdom that has died
     Oil the axle, pump the tyres
     Give the wheel a spin
     One thing for sure, it's turned before
     Round we go again
The only thing a monarch needs

Up, Up and Away

Would you like to fry
in my beautiful barroon?
Would you like to pry
in my beautiful barroon?
We could float across America, you and I
and we could spy!
Up, up and away, in my beautiful, my beautiful barroon!
You can see a rot
from my beautiful barroon
Show us what you've got

Faces In The Darkness

The lights in the bandstand in Adelaide's west parkland
make it hard to sleep in, but it sure beats being wet
May as well buy some ice if you scrape and beg the price
Stay awake for days, and hopefully forget.

You've seen the streets of London and the alleys of L.A.
Do you know what's happening outside your front door?
Adelaide at night, to survive it is a fight
and the faces in the darkness ask for more


Sweetest girl, just five foot two with contact lenses eyes of blue
Dances in men's laps on Hindley St on Saturday night
Makes enough to pay the fee to stay in university
Closes eyes and tells herself her future's looking bright

Version 666

Some find the fact
that wiring's organic
as something Satanic
I prefer not to panic
for a couple of years
Maybe we've cracked
our next destination
cyborg creation
to live past the tears

For Olivia

She was Australia's sweetheart,
the grown-up Girl Next Door
who took Australia to the World
when she left our shore
Her voice will echo in our hearts
long after she's gone
With love and sadness- Rest In Peace
Olivia Newton-John

Woken Dead Folks Rag

Vaccination, vaccination
New conspiracy fixation
Some folks think the jab of a vax
is just like Satan casting a hex
Vaccination, Vaccination
sold by Pedophile Freemasons
I've done all the Research for you
You can trust me, all of it's true
and doing all that reading is a drag
So rip your mask off
Have a good cough
and do the Woken Dead Folk's Rag

The Facebook Cat Song

There's a computer in my pocket
called a mobile phone
I can ask it questions on
everything that's known
One thing most important
knocks the others flat
any time I want to I can
see a Facebook Cat
Facebook Cats rule the world
around our lives their tails are curled
Love to watch them all day long
Sing the Facebook Cat Song
I fixed the Planet the other day
Global Peace and stuff
told my friends on Facebook

In a Golden Con

In a Golden Coach there's a hologram
travelling through Old London town
the Royals have been brave
they've been trying to save
the Empire from shutdown
It won't be a joke if the Treasury's broke
when the Commonwealth dies with the Queen
It's a Golden Con, and a job well done
yet ethically quite obscene.

Hillbilly Justice

The Twenty First Century
Twenty twenty two, in fact
I'm watching the Beverly Hillbiliies
to keep my mind intact

Seeing stuff that as a kid
I couldn't understand
with fifty years of life between
we never saw the Hand
Dystopian non-democracies
came from Orwell's mind
Asimov and Arthur Clarke
Futures were defined

There's a hole in the Budget, Dear Liar, Dear Liar

There's a hole in the Budget
Dear Liar, Dear Liar
There's a hole in the Budget
Dear Liar, a hole
I'll fix it with bullshit
dear Albo,dear Albo
I'll fix it with bullshit
dear Albo, with shit
Your bullshit is broken
dear Liar, Dear liar
You bullshit is broken
dear Liar, it's broke
I'll fix it with promises
Dear Albo Dear Albo
I'll fix it with promises
Dear Albo, a fix

Not A Brilliant Time

It's not a brilliant time to be
a Lib in South Australia
From ruling the state, and the whole country
they're doomed to utter failure
In Adelaide their Government fell

The Sailor's Second Chance

Many a valiant sailor’s gone
to Davy Jones’ crew
given all in saving life,
bade the world adieu
Hear the tale of how I fell
forever far from land
only to return again
by Davy Jones’ hand
Our ship was a Destroyer
her job to guard and lead
refugees of wartime storm
that never could spill blood
Sailing in a midnight sea
beneath a sky of black
waves smashed Davy Jones’ rage
In blows upon our deck.

The ScoMo Shanty

(unaccompanied, shanty-style)
I stood upon the foredeck
and hoisted up me sails
with anchor weighed we sail away
from the coast of New South Wales
to leave the Hill Song far behind
Their Siren sings to me
So from ScoMo's land I'm bound
to search for Albanese
(CH) Do you hear the Song of the Hills
singing to you and me
Let's none of us be April Fools
Let's vote for Albanese!
ScoMo has a fluffy cat
also a fluffy wife

This one doesn't drag on for long

(Sung to a well-know Dragon tune)
Ukulele fun to play
many people do
even our Prime Minister
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